On a recent trip to Costa Rica, I learned about a few phrases that seem woven into the culture. The first was Pura Vida, which Costa Ricans say all the time. Literally translated, it means “pure life,” but it carries a much richer meaning. It’s a reminder that life is meant to be enjoyed as it is. You don’t need endless …
There are seasons in relationships when things feel heavy. A quiet distance settles in, and we begin to sense that something important is slipping away. In those moments, it’s common for the mind to fill in the gaps with fear-based stories rather than facts—Maybe we’re not right for each other anymore. Maybe this is how it ends. Hopelessness can creep …
The short answer is no—and yes. No, love itself isn’t supposed to hurt. Love is not sharp words, silent treatments, or passive-aggressive digs. It’s not walking on eggshells or keeping score. If someone is using aggression—whether loud or subtle—to wound you, that isn’t love. Sure, everyone has bad days or moments of reactivity, but deliberate or repeated harm crosses a …
In my work with couples therapy, I often witness something both heartbreaking and hopeful: two people sitting across from each other, struggling to say anything positive. Sometimes this reflects a deeper disconnection — a lack of warm feelings that have eroded over time. But, more often than not, the love and appreciation are still there. They just aren’t being spoken …
In a world that moves fast and communicates in half-thought texts and emoji reactions, it’s easy to take things personally. A friend takes hours to reply, a colleague seems short in a meeting, someone unfollows you online—and suddenly, it can feel like rejection. Yet the simple advice to not take things personally—popularized by The Four Agreements—remains one of the most …
Couples therapy can be life-changing—when both partners are ready and willing to participate. When two people enter the process committed to improving their relationship, open to honest communication, and able to trust that each person will do the work, therapy can foster insight, connection, and meaningful repair. However, not every relationship situation is appropriate for couples therapy. In some cases, …
There’s a quiet power that comes from learning to extend compassion for yourself and others. It’s a skill that can transform not only how you experience your inner world, but also how you connect with the people around you. Compassion doesn’t mean ignoring pain, pretending everything is fine, or forcing positivity. Instead, it means meeting ourselves and others with understanding …
As the holiday season approaches, many people feel the weight of complicated family relationships more intensely. In my therapy practice, this time of year often brings forward the deep and quiet ache of family estrangement, especially within biological families. Whether someone has chosen distance or finds themselves on the receiving end of it, there is frequently a shared emotional experience: …
Someone once told me there are two categories of people: those who make big mistakes, and those who fool themselves into thinking they never will. The truth? We all make mistakes. And yes, we hate it. We feel ashamed, defensive, even afraid of losing love because of it. But a mistake—no matter how painful—doesn’t have to define our worth as …
When it comes to relationships, the most powerful force isn’t always what our partner says or does—it’s the story we tell ourselves about our spouse. Every couple fights. Every couple misunderstands each other. But what often creates the deepest hurt is not the moment itself, but the interpretation we give it. An offhand comment can become, “They don’t care about …
