Personal Strength - My Village Therapist

The Link Between Depression and Optimism: Reframing How We Think

Depression often feels overwhelming—like a heavy lens that colors every experience in shades of negativity. But what if part of that lens comes from the way we explain events to ourselves? In his influential book Learned Optimism, psychologist Marten Seligman explores how our habitual thinking patterns—especially pessimism—can shape our emotional well-being. At the heart of this idea is something simple …

Is Love Supposed to Hurt?

The short answer is no—and yes. No, love itself isn’t supposed to hurt. Love is not sharp words, silent treatments, or passive-aggressive digs. It’s not walking on eggshells or keeping score. If someone is using aggression—whether loud or subtle—to wound you, that isn’t love. Sure, everyone has bad days or moments of reactivity, but deliberate or repeated harm crosses a …

The Shift That Creates Real Change

f you’ve been working hard on yourself but still wondering, “Why don’t I feel better?” — you’re not alone. Many of us spend years trying to create inner peace by changing things outside of ourselves: other people, circumstances, the past, or the next big goal that’s surely going to fix how we feel. But deep and lasting personal transformation doesn’t …

Giving Grace: The Gentle Power of Compassion

We rarely know what others are carrying. The coworker who seems distracted, the friend who suddenly withdraws, the stranger who snapped at you in line — behind every small moment is a life full of unseen stories, heartaches, and challenges. Just as no one fully knows your own sensitivities and pain, what’s happening inside others is often invisible. Most of …

When the Holiday Glow Fades

Finding Compassion Amid the Post-Holiday Blues 💬 “It’s okay to feel a little low after the holidays — joy and exhaustion often travel together.” There’s something magical about the build-up to the holidays. The lights, the music, the food, the gifts — and all the hype about how perfect it’s supposed to feel. Movies promise cozy family harmony, commercials show …

The Healing Power of Compassion — For Yourself and Others

There’s a quiet power that comes from learning to extend compassion for yourself and others. It’s a skill that can transform not only how you experience your inner world, but also how you connect with the people around you. Compassion doesn’t mean ignoring pain, pretending everything is fine, or forcing positivity. Instead, it means meeting ourselves and others with understanding …

Finding Peace in the Pain of Family Estrangement

As the holiday season approaches, many people feel the weight of complicated family relationships more intensely. In my therapy practice, this time of year often brings forward the deep and quiet ache of family estrangement, especially within biological families. Whether someone has chosen distance or finds themselves on the receiving end of it, there is frequently a shared emotional experience: …

AI and Life Decisions: Helpful Sidekick or Sneaky Hazard?

We’ve all faced a big choice and thought, “Maybe I’ll just ask the robot.” With AI tools everywhere, it’s tempting. They’re fast, polite, and never judge your late-night coffee habit. I’ll admit—I use AI to edit my writing. But before you hand over your life decisions to an algorithm, it’s worth weighing the pros and cons. The Upside: Why AI …

Lynda's Favorite App Belly Bio - Lynda Martens

Lynda’s Favourite Breathing App: Belly Bio

For those who would like to download this app: Belly Bio

Gaslighting in Relationships: Should You Call It Out or Stay Silent?

“Gaslighting” has become a widely used word, often applied to any moment when someone dismisses or twists our words. At its core, gaslighting in relationships means making another person doubt their perception of reality. It can sound like: In its most harmful form, gaslighting is a tool of control and emotional manipulation. But it’s also true that most of us—without …

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