gently and naturally“train” your brain
Ending Blame and Defensiveness (How to Have the Shortest Argument ever)
“We always fight over the dumbest little things” “I don’t even remember how it started” Often, conflicts over something very small are then fuelled by blame and defensiveness and blow up into a full-blown argument. The original problem gets lost because we have added so many layers of blame and defensiveness that we are arguing about the way we argue, …
Why you should give your partner the ‘benefit of the doubt’.
Recently I heard someone say to their partner…”You know what I want? I want the benefit of the doubt. I want you to trust that when something happens, I don’t have the worst intentions towards you; that I’m not trying to hurt you.” I LOVE that. Sometimes, when our resources are low or stress is building up or we’re tired, …
“Put it in a Basket” An approach to problem solving in relationships
“Do I say something or not?” “How come I can’t decide if this is a big deal or not?” “It seems small, but I’m really upset” When you are upset about something your partner (or friend or family member) does, it can be helpful to “put it in a basket” as a way or guiding your decision about how to …
What is an emotional trigger? How to take responsibility for your own stuff!
A lot of my writing is based on the foundational premise that our emotional reactions are our own, and are not caused by others. And I hear you protesting, some of you… But they said that…or did that…and made me mad! I will give you this…there are things that people do or say which create a greater likelihood that the receiver …